Premonition
by TheImpasta
Summary: Feliciano Vargas was the happiest man alive; he had his dream boy, his dream house, dream garden, the life he'd always wanted. But, when he gets terrible news his entire world crumbles, and his left facing things seemingly alone. Dead one day, alive the next, twists and turns. Soon enough he cant even remember whats real and whats not. Can you?


**A/N-**

**This is going to be quite the ride i think, considering this first chapter took me about 3 months to write and revise, plus i had to gain the courage to post it. ^^;**

**You know me, its not going to be the best, dealing with the fact that marching band and now ACT testing will be in the way. Sigh.**

**I always ask for Reading and Reviewing, but this is big time here. The amount of interest determines if i finish this. **

**I hope you enjoy this anyway, hopefully its not to fast paced.**

* * *

_I can not be sure_

_ I see the future,_

_ in my __head_

_in my head_

_Blaming myself for _

_all I need help for,_

_ in my head _

_in my head_

**__-The M Machine_ 'Promise Me a Rose Garden'_**

**_Premonition- intuition of a future event, usually unwelcome, occurrence; foreboding._**

It had all so quickly. The day had started like any other; he was the happiest man in the world as far as he knew.

He never expected his entire world to crumble so easily.

Feliciano hummed happily, scrubbing the counter top in front of him. He was in a particularly good mood today, though he was always a little excited about something. Ludwig was coming home today; he had been gone two days now on a business trip and Feliciano had to make sure everything was just perfect for his German.

"There, all clean!" he sang before twirling to the boiling pot behind him, taking up a spoonful of red sauce and blowing on it quickly. The Italian popped the wooden spoon into his mouth and smiled, moving to stir the pasta on the next burner over.

Once he had decided it was done, Feliciano moved the noodles and sauce to a saucer, and plopped down into a seat. However, right as he was about to take his first bite, the phone began to ring loudly. He quickly plucked it from the receiver and held it to his ear.

"Ciao~"

"Yes, ciao fratello. What are you doing? Is potato-head back yet?" The frustrated voice came through the speaker.

Feliciano frowned and began to stab at his spaghetti gently. "No, Luddy still isn't here...do you think he should be back by now?"

The other scoffed, "How am I supposed to know when that bastard is supposed to arrive? I was just making sure you hadn't burnt your house down yet. Why would anyone leave you unsupervised all weekend with an oven?!" A small beep came from the line. "I have to call you back Feliciano, I have another call." And with that the line went dead.

The Italian shrugged and placed the phone back, noticing the voice mail light on. He pushed it and returned his attention back to his food.

"You have 1 new message. New message: 'Ah...you didn't answer...just call me back when you get this, okay? I'll be home soon, promise.' end of messages."

Feliciano once again picked up the phone and pressed the speed dial for his lover. When no one answered, he left his message.

"I just got your message. Call me when you get mine okay? I hope you come home soon..."

He hung up and returned to his food.

Of course the doorbell rang.

He got up from his seat and pranced carefully to the door. Opening it, his warm smile turning to a grim confusion, as a police officer stood at his door.

"Um...can I help you?"

"You're Feliciano, right?" the suited man spoke with a thick English accent. The other nodded in response. "Sir...I don't know how to tell you this...Ludwig. Was in a very serious accident. He was killed almost instantly upon impact. Seeing as the other driver drove a semi."

The auburn haired man in the door way just blinked. "T-that's impossible...I just heard his voice on the answering machine!"

"I'm sorry...just...is there anything I can do?"

"No." Feliciano stated firmly.

"Someone I can call?"

"No." He swallowed and closed the door, staying and watching through the glass the officer walked back to his police cruiser.

* * *

Now they sat.

Feliciano had immediately called his brother, who for once didn't yell at him for talking about the German man, and instead drove to his house, bringing Antonio.

"We should start thinking about funeral plans as well..." The Spanish man said quietly, "Lovino, babe, would you please stop pacing and come sit down?"

"I just can't believe he's dead." the gruff voice was sympathetic, and he turned to look at his brother.

Feliciano just sat there next to Antonio, looking down or over, but never at either of the men.

"We should get some sleep." That was Toni again, "we know where the guest room is. Just get some rest feli."

"He's right fratello." Lovino crossed the room to hug his brother, "get some sleep...we will stay here tonight."

The smaller Italian nodded and laid himself down on the couch as the two others went upstairs.

Tears began to flow down his cheeks and tiny sobs escaped him. Sleep quickly found its way to the man, crying soon becoming exhausting.

* * *

Brown eyes opened to a familiar bedroom. Had someone carried him up last night? The auburn haired man sat up in bed, swinging his legs to the side slowly. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. When had he put on pajamas?

He stood up and strode to the hall.

"Lovino? Toni?" Assuming they were still in bed, he knocked on the Door. When no one answered he opened it to find an empty bed and an untouched room.

Maybe they were just down stairs.

* * *

Making his way down the steps the Italian began to hear voices...but not ones he knew. They were booming, he quickly assumed it was the television. It was coming from the kitchen, so that's where he went.

There was Ludwig. Sipping on coffee and watching the news.

Feliciano's eyes widened and his mouth opened slightly.

"Feliciano? Are you okay?" His voice sounded concerned, but it was defiantly there.

"Ludwig..." he whispered. The Italian quickly shook his head "Y-yes. Everything is fine. I just...I guess I just had a nightmare."

"Okay. It was just a dream..." It would be normal at this point for Feliciano to be hugging his lover, kissing him and thanking him for reassurance. But he just stood there looking, rubbing his forehead every so often. Ludwig was honestly worried. "Feli...are you feeling alright? Did I miss something?"

The smaller plastered a make shift smile on his face, "No luddy, I'm fine like I said~"

Said German raised a brow and set his coffee down. "Okay if you say so...I have to get to the office." He crossed the table to kiss his Italian on the forehead. Feliciano strangely didn't move in for a real kiss, so Ludwig took his leave. "Bye love, be back normal time."

"O-okay" Feliciano cursed his cracking voice, "Ti amo!"

* * *

As soon as his lover had driven away the phone was in Feliciano's hand, dialing quickly.

"Yes?" there was the deep voice of his brother on the other line.

"Eh...fratello...did we talk yesterday?"

"Talk yesterday! Hell, you call me every five minutes! Why, what's the problem?"

"N-no problem here! Just wondering...is Tonio there?"

"Yes Feli, he got here last night, I thought I told you that." The Italian could hear a little more frustration being added to his brother's tone.

"I'm sorry brother. I just had the weirdest nightmare last night..." tears started to form in his eyes "L-Ludwig was dead!"

A booming laughter caused Feliciano to pull the phone away from his ear.

"A nightmare?! More like a dream come true!" the laughing calmed down and soon Lovino was back to his normal irritated tone, "Look fratello, it was only a nightmare, like you said. You'll be fine." the younger Italian heard a Spanish accented voice in the background and his brother whispering harshly, "I have to go now Feli."

Said person sighed and ended the call. Maybe it was just a dream...but it seemed so real. He was probably just over reacting as always...

* * *

The rest of the day dragged on slowly, Feliciano just passing it as a dream, began to do the rest of his chores.

The 'dream' never left his thought though. Even when Ludwig came home, even when he was given his traditional kiss after work, even as they sat down for dinner.

Instead of happily shoveling the meal into his mouth as the smaller man usually would, he was picking at it. This of course alarmed the other, but he left it be. He hadn't been feeling to good lately either.

"So...how was your day?" now the German was trying to distract him.

"It was alright," he shrugged "how's the office? Weren't you talking about a new person or something the other day?"

"Yeah. I have to train the new intern this week, today was his first day." He answered, knowing Feli wasn't interested in detail.

* * *

The rest of dinner was silent, and soon they were heading up to bed.

"Maybe you should go to the doctor? You seem like you haven't been feeling well today." Ludwig observed the man getting under the covers- surprisingly enough fully clothed- and removed his jacket.

"I think I just need some rest Luddy," he sighed, straining to his bedside to turn off the lamp. "I'll be alright by morning."

The German shrugged it off and slid in next to him, kissing his forehead gently and scooting to his side.

"Good night Feli."

* * *

The world was a blur as Feliciano's eyes snapped open. Upon instinct he looked to the other side of the bed.

Empty.

Figuring his love was just downstairs, he sat up in his bed.

Running his fingers through his locks, he realized something odd and stood up.

The Italian walked quietly over to a mirror across the bed which was covered with a blanket. Looking around the room he realized all the pictures and mirrors were covered with something to block his view. When had he done that?

Peering into the restroom he saw that the mirror was also covered above the sink. Rushing in he moved it to look at himself.

Tears stained his cheeks and his greasy hair was sticking to his forehead, coated with sweat. The bags under his eyes were a dusty purple and his eyes were red and puffy. He also noticed he was wearing only Ludwig's shirt. But hadn't he put on pajamas before sleeping last night? Sighing shakily he looked down and turned the faucet on, splashing water in his face. Upon opening his eyes he saw something.

Several pills were strewn in the sink, along with an orange bottle and white cap. He snatched up the container and read the label.

"Lithium..." he whispered lowly in a confused tone.

* * *

Head pounding and confused Feliciano started heading down the stairs. Whispers and mumbles filled his ears and his walking slowed.

"He's awake..." was whispered harshly as one of the multiple people in his living room stepped forward. Revealing himself through the black he was recognized as Ludwig's brother, Gilbert.

"Oi Feli..." he said in a put tone, a fake smile pasted on his lips and eyebrows crunched together..."why don't we go get dressed?"

Feliciano stepped away from Gilberts arm almost as if he were to be burnt. "W-where's Ludwig? And Lovino?"

The German flinched at his brother's mention, but left it untouched. "Lovino and Antonio are out back. Let's get dressed and we can go see them okay?"

The shorter man pushed passed the other and through the darkly dressed crowd to the back door. Yanking it open and trudging towards the bench in his Garden, he saw a frowning Spaniard holding a weeping auburn haired man.

"Toni? Is fratello okay?" his voice shook with anxiety and confusion.

"Ah you're awake." the Green eyed man smiled weakly up at him, his brother not even moving. "H-he's alright...the funeral planning has been a bit much and now that it's here...he's feeling a bit...guilty of a sort. He hadn't much sleep." he sighed again and kissed his lovers head.

Funeral?

"Brother?" The lighter haired sibling wrapped his arms around the other, who turned his arms to him and sobbed deeply into his chest.

Antonio knitted his eyebrows and kneaded his hands.

"Fratello, won't you talk to me?" Tears started to pour from his sleep deprived sockets and his brother looked up at him.

Red gashes were strewn across his face, fresh cuts which were trying to scab but seemed to deep, stitches and bandages covered some packed tight.

Seeing all of this Feliciano almost threw his brother off in shock. Instead he gasped and widened his eyes.

"L-Lovino...fratello what happened to your face?!" he screeched, immediately feeling guilty as more tears gushed from his brothers eyes and he latched onto his shirt.

"Nothing's wrong with his face Feli.." Antonio sighed, stroking his lover's hair gently and a sorrowful smile graced his lips, "he's beautiful. Like a princess"

The confusion, sadness and anxiety peppered with anger became too much and Feliciano's eyes widened. Not looking at anything in particular he wrapped his arms around his older brother and allowed the tears to flow like a faucet. He didn't sob, he wasn't really crying at all. The liquid coming from his eyes was from the sheer pressure and confusion. This wasn't happening. It just wasn't.

* * *

Soon they had gotten Feliciano up and dressed, ready for Ludwig's funeral. Multiple questions were risen and answered with prompts like 'I know' and 'it's hard for everyone'.

Arriving at the church however something snapped.

Walking up the steps Feliciano stopped, staring at the bearers lifting the casket from the back of the Hurst.

"I want to see his body."

Antonio started. "Well feli I don't think that's a very good id-"

"I want to see my husband's body." he stated firmly again, walking towards the people lifting.

"Feliciano wait-" that was Gilbert

"Open it." he said upon arrival.

"Sir..." one of the workers tried to protest.

"Open it." He closed his eyes and balled his fists.

"Brother please! Let's just go inside and-"

Feliciano shook his head rapidly as tears started to escape. "I paid for this, and I demand to see Ludwig's body."

A few other protests escaped the workers and Feliciano had had enough of it. Something snapped inside him and his eyes opened slowly.

"I SAID OPEN THE DAMN CASKET!" He suddenly screeched, making everyone jump and throwing the bearers off their grip, the top crashing to the ground and door flinging open before they could save it.

Oh they tried to stop him. They really did. And for good reason, as if he'd had listened, he wouldn't be screaming and crying and trying to pull out of the restricting grip of his family.

If he'd listened Ludwig's head wouldn't be in the middle of the walkway.

* * *

_**PHEW**_

_****_**First chapter with a total of 2,368 words!**

**R/R please. As i said at the beginning, it all rests on you guys.**

**Thank you~**

**-TheImpasta **


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